14 October 2025

Synesthography, anyone?

SYNESTHOGRAPHY is a new art form with very humble origins. The essence of classic photography is to focus light, and light alone, onto the film or, more often nowadays, the image sensor. In pursuit of quality, ultraviolet and infrared are filtered out, and the lens mounting and camera body are designed to resist vibration, fast temperature and humidity changes, and the ingress of dust or other airborne agents to the vicinity of the light path or sensor. One could say that the camera is very single-minded.
The synesthetic camera (synecam), on the other hand, has no such pretensions to quality. Dust and scratches on the lens ensure that wanted and unwanted light have an equal chance, while the flimsy lens mount and less than rigid camera body conspire to couple high and low audio frequencies, respectively, to the image. (The phenomenon is akin to microphony, a notorious cause of feedback in valve amplifiers). Where can such a marvel be found? On every cheap mobile phone on the market, especially earlier models such as the Motorola L6.
The Synesthographer's technique is wholly different from the photographer's. Care, precision and planning are anathematised. Spontaneity is everything. In particular, it is important not to think visually. Your synesthographs should be influenced as much by smell, taste, sound and touch as by sight. You hear a lark singing? Point the synecam any old place, and click. Remember, it doesn't have to see the lark - it can hear it, just like you, so it will feature in the final image. It only needs faith.

a synesthographic image

THE RESULTS:
It is important to remember that the camera, not necessarily the synesthographer, is synesthetic. It does all the hard work for you. But when you first look at your images, you might be disappointed. You were expecting to see the Trooping of the Colours, while at the same time hearing the horses hooves, tasting your Cadbury's 99 and feeling the sun on your shoulders. Have faith. It is all there. To the synesthete, it is a thing of beauty; to the uninitiated, a mere jumble. Now let's talk about the Emperor's new clothes.

3 October 2025

They move among us

Anyone who has ever, even or perhaps especially when alone in the house, posed with a gun in front of a mirror should seriously consider their mental fitness to own lethal weaponry. To any such people, I ask: What facial expression did you try to adopt? Stern? Resolute? Noble? Or just hard? What childish fantasy did you conjure up, with yourself as hero, saving the world or perhaps just felling the baddies in a shower of lead?
I'd suggest that there is a fundamental difference between the psyches of the gun murderer and the suicide bomber. The suicide bomber requires anonymity up to the moment of detonation in which his own instant oblivion is assured. The gun murderer on the other hand actively desires the thrill of firing his gun, over and over, at real people. He does it for his own sick pleasure, whatever lies he might tell himself about serving a cause.

30 September 2025

Pilgrim felt small

He had come so far and with such hope in his heart, but would the Great Frog listen?




23 September 2025

Tomorrow's Bread

Briefly alive, a long time dead,

trying to make the best of it.

Give us, today, tomorrow’s bread.


Picture the lilies! Jesus said

Solomon wasn’t half as fit.

Briefly alive, a long time dead,


how shall we sleep unless we’re fed?

The board is bare; why would we sit?

Give us, today, tomorrow’s bread.


We tilled your soil. Our fingers bled.

The famine struck. We took the hit.

Briefly alive, a long time dead,


with every Autumn comes the dread

of sicknesses we daren’t admit.

Give us, today, tomorrow’s bread,


you Great and Good! We're going to bed.

We pay your tax, endure your shit.

Briefly alive, a long time dead,

give us, today, tomorrow's bread.


13 September 2025

Guns don't kill people

People kill people...

except, they don't. Not normally. I was brought up in a town of 50,000 people, on the West coast of Scotland. My childhood and teenage years were the 50s and 60s. Our parents had lived through the horrors of the 2nd World War. Now, they were living through the peacetime hardships of shortages and rationing. But of one thing they were certain: the killing had been an aberration; normality had returned, where people live in peace. Where people don't kill people. Where people don't need guns.

On cue, within minutes of every new firearm atrocity, the tired old gun lobbyists (hereinafter, the Globbies, ok?) crawl out of the woodwork with their tired old incantation – Guns don't kill people... People kill people, and every time I shake my head and think – not in my World, they don't. And before any Globby tells me that small-town Scotland is a very sheltered corner of the planet – check my Profile page for where I've lived and worked since leaving there. I still say, fifty years later – not in my World, they don't.

Guns don't kill People... Bullets kill people
It's a truism that without ammunition a gun is a pretty useless weapon. It could serve as a bludgeon of sorts, but the balance is all wrong, It would be no match for a baseball bat, far less a machete. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Let's step back and quietly consider some aspects of violence.

For one adult to kill another in unarmed combat, assuming both are in reasonable health and physical condition, is actually no mean feat. It requires either great effort and determination, or considerable knowledge and technique. Or, just conceivably, diabolical 'luck'. It also requires an absolute awareness and total involvement with what you are doing, something the vast majority of people would pull back from, in total revulsion at the enormity of the act, and its consequences.

Bring a knife into the equation and everything changes. We are all capable of lashing out in anger and, with a knife in hand, a single strike can be fatal (though usually it is not). But again, let's step back, to small-town Scotland and the day one lad brought a flick-knife to school.

He had no intention of using it, of course. He just wanted his moment of glory impressing his friends or maybe frightening a few juniors. Inevitably, he was uncovered and the knife confiscated. On the following morning the Headmaster addressed the school: Unable to make an impression on his fellows on equal terms, the culprit had sought an unfair advantage. In trying to command fear in others, he had merely betrayed his own fear. In trying to be the bully he was not physically cut out to be, he had shown himself to be – a coward. The psychology was exactly right. No-one ever again brought a knife to school.

The Headmaster was right. A knife is a coward's weapon. Yet, while it gives an unfair advantage, it still requires a degree of closeness to, and interaction with, the victim. A quick and lethal thrust does not compare with the white-knuckled sweaty intensity of wringing out a life, bare hands around the throat, and yet... A knife will still transmit its passage back from blade to haft to hand. You will feel the changes from cloth to soft tissue, to muscle wall, to vital organ. The scrape of steel on bone. You will know what you have done and most of us could not do it, or live with it afterwards. Quite literally, you will have blood on your hands.

At best, then, the knife is a half-way house. The true coward's weapon would further reduce the involvement between killer and victim. This is where the gun comes in. The gun, or at least its bullet, kills at a distance. There is no need for the killer to feel any involvement whatsoever with the victim. You point, s/he dies. It feels no different from shooting at a target. Easier still is the semi-automatic weapon where you don't even need to know who or how many have died. Isn't this the very epitome of cowardice?

Guns don't kill people... Cowards kill people
What we've seen thus far is a progression, from unarmed equals, to knife-wielding wimps, to gun-toting cowards, to the craven cowards with semi-automatic weapons. Is this the limit of inhumanity? Sadly no, it is not. Crasser still are those who kill by proxy, who pay others to do their dirty work. Those who profit from the manufacture and sale of weapons. Those who foment conflicts and wars to advance such sales and maximise their personal fortunes.

As it is simply distasteful to dwell too long among such miserable specimens, let's look instead at the opposite end of this continuum to see what manner of people can be found there. These are the people who never pull a gun or draw a knife. Who rarely if ever raise a fist. Who will argue and agree to differ. Who will walk away and get on with their lives. Some are quite famous: Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Siddhartha Gautama, Jesus of Nazareth. Most are relative unknowns on the World stage: me, my friends and work colleagues, the grocer on the corner, his wife and kids. Most folk, in fact - the people who don't kill people.

Thank you for reading.

9 September 2025

Rational Express now in print

A paperback version of The Rational Express is now available from Amazon. It differs from the Kindle e-book version by being flammable, if not inflammatory. Neither will break the bank.




21 August 2025

The Rational Express

 Now available on Kindle:



These articles were originally written as standalone pieces on HubPages, under my screen name Paraglider. The common themes that run through the articles are: that the World is better understood without reference to, or reliance on, the supernatural, that situational pragmatism is preferable to any form of dogmatism, and that faith-based belief systems are neither necessary nor helpful as the foundation of a fair society. Though the articles deal with serious topics, they are intended as entertainment and do not profess philosophical, scientific or academic rigour. Their original aim, in which they largely succeeded, was to stimulate discussion.

All this, for less than the price of a pint . . .

7 August 2025

Tom Lehrer's Hunting Song

The Hunting Song is one of Tom Lehrer's lighter offerings. That is, unless one takes it literally, in which case it is surreal and more than a little macabre.



 By the way, I haven't really lost all my hair. This is the effect of sitting in front of a bright window!

6 August 2025

An Open Letter

To whom it may concern, but mainly apologists for Mr Netanyahu's regime:
Please provide a list of Gazan civilians who have not been forcibly dispossessed, evicted, bereaved, herded from camp to camp, deprived of the staples of life (including food, water, medicines, shelter and energy), threatened with, or subjected to, violence and/or lethal force, and been generally disrespected, abused and dehumanised continually for the past eighteen months.
This should not take you long. The list will be short.
Thank you.

25 July 2025

If the cap fits...

NEW REGIME

We are the resurrection of the dead
forgotten ways. We cultivate despair
in veiled anathema of womankind.

We are the ancient writings reassessed
by gunlight in the aftermath of war.
Ours is the only truth you need to know.


9 July 2025

Fake News or False Precision?

I read this today (I won't say where because I have no wish to embarrass the writer or the publication):

In the heart of Africa, energy giant Total is about to build the biggest heated oil pipeline in the world. To extract 1,033,417,417,032 litres of oil, it will displace thousands of farmers, pass through some of the most important elephant and chimpanzee reserves, and threaten crucial biodiversity hotspots.

Call me a geek, but I enjoy reverse-engineering nonsensical or innumerate statements to find out what they are trying to say. Take the number at the heart of the statement, 1,033,417,417,032. That's quite a number. It's a fantastically precise number. The writer is claiming precision to one part in a trillion. The finest Swiss chronometers claim one part in a hundred thousand. Isn't it comforting to learn that crude oil extraction is ten million times more precise than Swiss chronometry?

So, how did this fantastic number arise? From a little background reading of proper sources, I learn that the reserve in question is "estimated at 6 billion barrels". That's a believable figure, properly stated. It means "we're pretty sure the reserve is somewhere between 5½ and 6½ billion barrels". That comes from an oil professional.

Then the innumerate journos move in: Go for the top of the range, 6.5 billion barrels. How big is a barrel anyway? Google it! A barrel = 158.987295 litres. Where's the calculator? How do you write 6½ billion?

6,500,000,000 x 158.987295 = 1,033,417,417,500 litres. Look, nobody's going to believe that 500 at the end. Change it, who's to know – 1,033,417,417,032  Job done.

Sorry, guys, but the correct rendering in litres is "more than a trillion". Next time, OK?

4 July 2025

A brief innings

I put it to you, m'Lud, that no other sport is as pleasing to the eye as cricket. And in particular, the art of batting, and within that art, the technique we used to call the straight bat (meaning, of course, the vertical bat) effected, in the case of a right-handed batsman, by raising high the left elbow while stepping into the line of the ball. As youngsters, we were told to practise our strokes in front of a mirror. I did. Back defensive: Right foot, step back, across and in front of the stumps. Then left leg close the gap, feet together. High left elbow, bat vertical, in front of the body. I had it off to a T.
One Sunday, Ayr (my team) was playing an early season friendly match against Clydesdale who had a new professional. Each club was allowed one professional player. Mr Rock, from Jamaica, was over six feet tall and a fast bowler. When it came my turn to face him, I knew just what to do. I'd been practising all winter at the mirror. His first ball flew past me at chest height before I'd even moved my feet. But I was ready for his second. Right foot back, left together, high left elbow, straight bat - perfect. The ball struck the face of the bat squarely and dropped like a stone at my feet. Unfortunately, mirror practice does nothing to strengthen the wrists, so the bat flew backwards on impact, catching me a fierce blow in the goolies which ended my brief innings. Style, 10. Effectiveness, 0.

16 June 2025

Ex-pat Plonk

Ex-pat plonk is any alcoholic beverage made by a member of the ex-pat community while living and working abroad. Some of it is pleasant enough but most of it is more or less foul. Some is even toxic. There are reasons enough for this sad situation but no valid excuses, because it is easy to make wholesome, palatable drinks that no-one need be ashamed to serve, using readily available supermarket ingredients.

I lived in the Middle East from 2002 to 2018 during which time I evolved many methods and recipes suited to the conditions and restrictions of the region. When back in UK and effectively grounded by the corona-virus pandemic, I decided to devote a blog to the topic as a 'one stop shop' for the ex-pat plonk community and anyone else who fancies giving it a go.

In fact, I already have several web articles 'out there', most notably on HubPages, where over the years I have fielded thousands of questions from aspiring wine and cider makers, most of whom, it must be said, have got into difficulties only through not following my simple directions. Fortunately, I am extremely patient. . .

5 January 2025

At last - The Paraplexed Crossword

 The Basic Crossword


Across 1. The newish name for Twitter (1)

Down   1. The third-last letter of the English alphabet (1)

The Intermediate Crossword


Across 1. The newish name for Twitter, repeated once (1,1)

             3. The number 20, as written by Marcus Junius Brutus (2)

Down   1. A possible shorthand for one's previous partner but one (1,1)

             2. Substitute signatures for two illiterate individuals (1,1)

The Advanced Crossword


Across 1. A winning row in noughts & crosses (1,1,1)

             4. A traditional descriptor for a premium strength ale (3)

             5. The number of days in September, as written by Caius Cassius (3)

Down   1. The newish name for Twitter, repeated twice (1,1,1)

             2. A winning column in noughts & crosses (1,1,1)

             3. An amorous appendage to a signature in a love letter (1,1,1)

featured post:

Truth, Language & Reality

 The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth truth anchors language to reality I hope I am never required, whether under oath or se...

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