We don't need no education...

When Matthew Gloag (no relation to his namesake who founded The Famous Grouse distillery) was five years old, he wrote, in his exercise book, "My cat is a nice cat" and was duly praised by the teacher who, unfortunately, did not suggest the obvious improvement.

So it was that, satisfied with this construction, in his later school years Matthew went on to produce such sentences as, "The French Revolution was a very bloody revolution" and "The Tolpuddle Martyrs were notable martyrs".

Somehow, it matters not how, Matthew eventually found himself employed in a Health and Safety capacity by First Great Western Railways where, among other duties, he was assigned to produce platform signage. And that is why, on every lamp standard, on every platform between London Paddington and Hereford, we can read Mr Gloag's finest work to date:

THIS STATION IS A NO SMOKING STATION

We don't need no education...

The Great Sheep Question

A prize to the first non-Arabic speaker who correctly deciphers this sign. This year, in Qatar, we've been entertained to a campaign of public health posters in black on yellow, all featuring a little outraged guy waving his arms in despair. The injunctions range from not spitting in public places to checking sell-by dates in supermarkets, always followed by the rather sinister 'We all see you. You are not alone!'  But what can this sheep message be about? Do not eat the wool. Always peel before eating! No? Please have a guess. I'll publish the English language version soon.

It's OK - Ramadan's over

And the outdoor workers can drink water again. It is water, by the way. AALCO is Al Ajjaj Limited Company. Any similarity to fermented beverages is purely coincidental and a product of the obsessed Western mind.

On being asked...

Sale of Chicken, Al Mansoura

Sale of Chicken, to include:
feathers, feet, beak, breasts, eyes, legs, tail, gizzard, heart, liver, lungs, wings, intestines, brain and the thoughts therein which may stretch to consciousness, though not self-consciousness (it is a chicken after all). Continuity of such thoughts, if any, is not guaranteed to extend beyond any neck-wringing event that may immediately precede Sale of Chicken.
Weight of Chicken, for pricing purposes, is pre-pluck and is not reduced if plucking is required. Buyer may opt to keep the plucked feathers if desired but will have to gather them up by himself.

You can't park here, at all, at all...

I really don't wander round Doha looking for weird signs, but they do seem to lie in wait for me more and more, recently. This one seems to be telling me that I'm not allowed to park here if I'm not allowed to park here. I think I could have worked that out for myself. And as for those who are allowed, let's hope they know who they are because there's nothing here to tell them. Another of Doha's little mysteries, I suppose.

A space too many

Spacemaker is as Spacemaker does. They make spaces. Shame about the space they've made here though, between the D and the C. I wonder if they've chosen the couch yet?

Forget those faded jeans, because...

Decent Uniform Works. And don't forget it. This latest in my occasional collection of soon to disappear Doha shop fronts has a certain appeal in its stark confidence. Bold upper case, black on white, the very epitome of formality. And above, one pressed grey trouser, one starched pastel blue shirt hung with a hint of movement - is this a small concession to modernity? And a window clean enough to reflect Paraglider's woefully informal shorts and yellow polo shirt. But in fairness, it was 43 Celsius at the time.