Something pedal

Mira is as respectable as they come. Eastern European, can't quite remember (that's me, not Mira) if it's Poland, Hungary or Bulgaria, but it's not France. Anyway, she likes shoes. Likes them enough to sit in the Paranormal foyer for maybe an hour and a half, nursing a coffee or two and watching the ladies, from the ankles down, making their ways to and from the toilets. She will never venture into the bar because, not being 'business', she knows she hasn't the rebuff lines to keep herself free of grot (which is all too available - see Scottish Table below). But her road home passes Shoe City (a shop, dammit), so, if inspired, her nights are not wasted.

Nice Laptop, Darling

Different societies should not be expected to share a sense of humour. The occasional Englishman, for example, has been known to try to emulate Scottish dryness, though never to succeed. And the German is yet to walk the Earth who understands punning. Be that as it may, Pyramid Dave was genuinely surprised to find he had made the world's greatest joke. Lisa was on a What is your ... mission, fresh from a phrase book somewhere. Pyramid was being taciturn. What is your name? - Dave. What is your bag? - Computer. What is your computer? - Toshiba. Screams of laughter, much repeating of punch line, more screams of laughter. There's a dubious Chinese saying that translates to big nose, big c--k. Big nose is more or less ta beeze. The rest you can guess.

A Change of Scene

Qatar simply doesn't have anywhere like the Paranormal for the traveller to rest his weary eyes. There are all the usual Charlatans and Majorcons, but nothing catering for anything but comfort. Except maybe the Stufital, one of the oldest hotels in Doha. This has that rarest of articles in the Middle East, a bar with a street level entrance and no entry fee. You do have to buy drink tokens at the door though, because no money changes hands at the bar. Go early, because it fills to danger level by about 10 most nights, with men, unfortunately, who come to watch the Filipina girls in the 'band'. Listening is optional. Fights break out fairly regularly, usually occasioned by an overenthusiastic Indian trying to touch one of the singers (the slim one on the right!) This, of course, requires the Filipino guys to come to her defence. The ensuing free-for-all starts up faster than Security can yawn. But as the Indians only outnumber the Filipinos by about three to one, it's pretty evenly matched and quite a good spectacle.

Doing the Rounds

"You can give me only one dirham?" says little Lee, presenting an open palm and an ingratiating smile to every man in the bar. Bargain basement? No, just taking a collection from anyone who'll help her feed her addiction. Some of us take pity. Clutching a small pile of coins, she retires guiltily to the dark corner for another half hour of Spot the Difference. Meanwhile, the little Sri Lankan repairman ambles around pointlessly, carrying a length of pipe and looking for his favourites.