A Fourth Option

Guys who don't want attention mostly stare at their beer. This is relatively safe. Slightly riskier is staring at Sky News - eyes may appear in your eyeline, and besides, extended exposure to Sky is known to reduce IQ by 3 points per month. Riskier still is watching the girls with their backs to you. Your 4th-pint reactions are no match for their Red Bull head whip. You can be cornered and questioned mercilessly for at least an hour. A rarely practised fourth option is to enjoy the unique fabric and artefacts of Chalky's interior. Sooner or later, your gaze will fall on the (unused) dart board, emblazoned with 'The King of Arms'. What creative genius decided to mount a dart board on a pillar? Miss the board (which is likely) and you might skewer a Chicken on the dance floor. Then you'd just have to make amends.


  1. I like the dartboard option lol. There should be one in every bar!

    Similarly, girls who don't want attention do the following: we stare at our cocktails and study the shape of the ice inside it, count the number of bottles behind the bar...we admire the finish of the bar, check our manicure and spend half the night in the ladies' .. all in no particular order.

  2. A girl trying not to get attention in Chalky's would be a rare phenomenon indeed. It might even prove a winning tactic for getting attention in a competitive field.

  3. Well, then, off to Chalky's it is! If girls try and get attention there, surely there must be something worth looking at apart from the usual dartboard: perhaps the darts misplaced on the dancefloor, if there is one?

  4. Getting attention is their livelihood. I'm sure it's not yours. Be careful! And yes there is a dancefloor - a small one.

  5. Does a blonde lady with short hair from Uzbekistan with attractive eyes still go to the Paranormal? Can you enlighten me on any bars like the Paranormal in Bur Dubai/Deira in terms of bars and not nightclubs as I would like to try something new as I find the most of the bars in Jumeirah boring apart from the D&A at the hotel next to the Bruj.

  6. Emperor -
    There are certainly some Uzbeks, but it's hard to be sure which one you mean! Bars that are not nightclubs and not just ex-pat moaning joints are hard to find. You could try Admiral Plaza. (Down Bank St, 1st right after the Ascot). It's an old place with a ground floor bar. There's a small band, but not too dominating, and mixed company. If you go there, let us know here what you think of it. I've not been for a year or so.

  7. Paraglider, I'm fascinated and intrigued as to how you find such digholes to frequent and write about them with unadulterated enthusiasm. Truly old-school with class. Must drop in to these beer-holes, obviously the mainstream madams are missing something.

  8. i*maginate -
    The blog probably gives the impression that all these strange events are happening every day/night, but some are remembered from quite a while ago. The whole thing is tongue in cheek and to be honest, I'm partly doing it to see how long one strange 'lost cause' den can sustain a blog. Thanks for reading!


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