Flopears and the Peas

So here it is - the final episode in Dad's Flopears series:

One day Flopears was feeling very fed-up. He had nothing to do and all his wee brothers and sisters were playing without him, and anyway, he couldn't be bothered with all their noise. "I know what I will do" he said to himself "I'll go away and have an adventure all by myself". So off he went, hopitty-hop hopitty-hop, away up the hill until he came to a great big fence. "I wonder who put that there" he said out loud, he was so surprised. Just then he heard someone talking from the other side of the fence". "I must see about this" he said and started to run along the fence until he found a small hole. "Great" he said, "Now I can see what is happening". For as you know, Flopears was a very nosey little rabbit indeed. Well: Quick as a flash Flopears was through the hole and there was a beautiful little garden with rows and rows of lovely carrots and turnips and lettuce and, best of all, peas. Flopears just loved peas. He could eat them skins and all and here were more peas than he'd ever seen. Just as he was about to grab the biggest pea he could see he heard a gruff voice just behind him, "What do you think you are doing?" it said, and there was the biggest, ugliest, fiercest dog that Flopears had ever seen. "Oh" said Flopears when he got over his fright "I just saw a pea that was bad and I didn't want anyone to eat it and be poisoned so I was going to throw it in the dustbin. It is very dangerous to eat peas with the tickle-tum disease and it would be a great pity if your master ate some of the peas and had to stay in bed for weeks. Who would feed you?" "What can I do about it", growled the dog "I don't want to starve". "I know" said Flopears "We will pull all the peas out and I will take them far away where your master can't find them and everything will be all right" "What a good idea" said the dog and he helped Flopears to gather all the peas in a bundle and off he went home to his Mummy and Daddy, and his four brothers and his five sisters, with enough peas to last them for a week. When Flopears told them how he had fooled the dog they laughed and laughed till they were sore.

What happened to C-Change (and Agnes)?

If you've tried going to c-change.co.uk you'll have ended up redirected to here (dave-mcclure-blog.blogspot.com) I have migrated c-change from UK2 to Blogger. Two main reasons: Webspace on UK2 was getting expensive, while Blogger is free, and on Blogger I get the whole feature set (layouts, gadgets, etc) and far faster publishing, while only a cut-down version is available on a hosted blog.

Now, Agnes. Hers was the only content on c-change that wasn't directly exportable. So I've evicted her, kicking and screaming, to Dave McClure - Poems. I hope she'll be happy there. She has her own label (agnes) which will call up all her work to a single page.

I'm keeping the c-change domain, for email and in case I want to revive the UK business at some later stage when I'm finished in the Middle East.

Flopears and the Turnip

Welcome to the third episode in Dad's riveting Flopears series. This is the only one that I can definitely remember him telling me.

One morning Flopears had just finished his breakfast and as usual he was still very hungry, so off he went hoppity-hop away up the hill to see if he could find something ekse to eat because, all his Mummy had to give him was one wee cabbage leaf and that wasn't very much for a growing bunny
Soon he had reached the top of the hill and there he saw a field full of lovely big turnips. Flopears could hardly believe his eyes. He dashed up to the nearest turnip and started to eat it all up.
Very soon he stopped eating and said to himself "What a greedy bunny I am to be eating all this lovely food when all my brothers and sisters had for their breakfast was one cabbage leaf". So Flopears looked for the biggest turnip in the field and then he bit off all the leaves and he bit off all the roots and there was the biggest roundest turnip you ever saw. "Now" said Flopears "How am I going to get this home to Mummy?"
Then he had a brilliant idea and he stood on his hind legs and gave the turnip a push. Off it rolled untill it came to the top of the hill. Then Flopears gave one more big push and the turnip started rolling down the hill, slowly at first then faster and faster until it was going so fast that Flopears couldn't keep up with it. "Oh dear me" said Flopears "It will go right past the burrow and we'll never see it again". Just then **KERPLUNK** the turnip landed right in the mouth of the burrow. Flopears couldn't believe his eyes. When he saw what had happened, he tried to push the turnip into the burrow. It wouldn't move. The turnip was too big. Just then Flopears heard a wee voice saying, "Oh it is very dark in here, I wonder what has happened". "Don 't worry" Flopears said "It's just me with some breakfast but I'm afraid you will just have to eat it where it is. So if you all start eating it from inside I'll eat from out here and we will soon get the burrow opened up again". So that is what they did and very soon the entrance was clear and nobody was hungry any more. "What a kind thoughtful bunny you are Flopears" said his Mummy

Flopears and the Fox

This is the second of Dad's Flopears stories. For the sake of readability, I'm typing this and the others in lower case, but keeping Dad's colour scheme and italics.

Flopears and the Fox

Once upon a time there was a wee bunny-rabbit called Flopears who lived in a burrow in the ground with his Mummy and his Daddy and his four brothers and his five sisters.
But Flopears was always hungry, he could never get enough to eat
One morning Flopears' Mummy came into the burrow with their breakfast, just one lettuce leaf for each wee bunny and as usual Flopears gobbled his share straight away. "Now can I have some more please Mummy. I'm still hungry". "Oh you are a greedy bunny Flopears" said his Mummy, "If you want anything else to eat you must just go away outside and find it for yourself".
"That is just what I will do" said Flopears and off he went hopity-hopity out of the burrow and away up the hill till he suddenly spied a lovely wood with beautiful green grass and nice bushes to hide in.
"What a great place to play in" he said to himself, "I will be able to find lots to eat here I know. Just then Flopears heard a gruff voice saying "How dare you come into my wood. Don't you know that I eat up any bunny rabbit who dares to enter here".
"Oh please Mr. Fox eat me up if you want but whatever you do don't throw me into that patch of nettles. I'd rather be eaten up than have to fall into these stingy nettles". "Oh what a good idea said the cruel fox, and he picked Flopears up by his ears and threw him far into the patch of nettles. "Ooh, Ouch, Wow", yelled Flopears as if he was being tortured and then he burst out laughing. "What a stupid fox you are. Rabbits love nettles, and I haven't had my breakfast yet, thank you very much, I'll be able to take some to my Mummy and Daddy too".
And that is what Flopears did and his Mummy said "Oh what a kind wee bunny you are to think about your family".

Flopears and the Silly Black Rabbit

Dad had a fund of Flopears stories, first rehearsed with Derrick, then Douglas and me, then in turn to all the next generation. He finally typed some of them out (on his Amiga computer in the living room) and gave them to Malcolm, with this hand-written covering note:

Dear Malcolm
I meant to correct & edit these stories but I haven't had much time recently. Someday maybe I'll do it.
Love
Grandpa Jock

I'm going to retype them here, one by one, for posterity. Dad used all upper case italics and many colours. As far as possible, I'm copying that too. He didn't type any titles, so I've made them up.
------------------------

FLOPEARS AND THE SILLY BLACK RABBIT

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A WEE BABY RABBIT CALLED FLOPEARS WHO LIVED IN A BURROW WITH HIS MUMMY AND HIS DADDY AND HIS FOUR BROTHERS AND FIVE SISTERS, AND FLOPEARS WAS A VERY HAPPY BUNNY AND VERY FOND OF LOOKING FOR ADVENTURES. WELL THIS MORNING JUST AFTER HIS MUMMY HAD GIVEN HIM HIS BREAKFAST OF TWO SMALL CARROTS FLOPEARS DECIDED THAT HE WOULD HAVE AN ADVENTURE AND MAYBE ALSO GET SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT. SO OFF HE WENT HOPPITY-HOP, HOPPITY-HOP UP THE HILL WHICH FLOPEARS CALLED HIS MAGIC HILL, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS HAD AN ADVENTURE WHEN HE CLIMBED IT. WELL THIS TIME WAS NO DIFFERENT. HE HAD NO SOONER REACHED THE TOP OF THE HILL WHEN HE SAW A HOUSE THAT HE HAD NOT SEEN BEFORE. THROUGH A HOLE IN THE FENCE FLOPEARS SAW LOTS OF LOVELY JUICY VEGETABLES AND OF COURSE HE SUDDENLY FELT VERY HUNGRY, SO IN HE WENT. BUT BEFORE HE COULD EVEN HAVE ONE BITE HE HEARD A VOICE, "HELP ME! HELP ME!" CRIED THE VOICE AND FLOPEARS LOOKED UP AND SAW A GREAT BIG BLACK RABBIT INSIDE A GREAT BIG BOX COVERED WITH WIRE. "GOODNESS" SAID FLOPEARS. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" "I LIVE HERE" SAID THE RABBIT. "IT REALLY IS VERY COMFORTABLE AND I GET LOVELY OATMEAL AND TEA-LEAVES FOR MY DINNER". "COULD I SEE WHAT IT IS LIKE?" SAID FLOPEARS. "I'VE NEVER SEEN A HUTCH BEFORE". "WELL", SAID THE BLACK RABBIT "IF YOU JUMP UP AND PUSH THAT CATCH, I'LL LET YOU COME IN FOR ONE MINUTE". "OH! THANK YOU" SAID FLOPEARS AND HE PUSHED THE CATCH AND OPENED THE DOOR AND JUMPED IN. AS SOON AS FLOPEARS JUMPED IN THE HUTCH THE BIG RABBIT JUMPED OUT AND BANGED THE DOOR SHUT. POOR WEE FLOPEARS COULDN'T GET OUT. WHEN HE SAW WHAT HAD HAPPENED, HE SAID TO THE BIG RABBIT "THANK GOODNESS I'M SAFE AT LAST, NOW THESE BIG WILD ANIMALS OUT THERE WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT ME UP LIKE ALL MY FRIENDS, EVERYBODY ELSE BUT ME HAS GONE ALREADY". "OH!" SAID THE BLACK RABBIT, "I DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN UP. PLEASE LET ME BACK IN BESIDE YOU, I PROMISE I'LL LET YOU HAVE HALF OF MY OATMEAL". SO THE BIG RABBIT OPENED THE DOOR AND JUMPED IN AND FLOPEARS JUMPED OUT AND SHUT THE DOOR AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AT THE SILLY RABBIT.