Never let it be said that I don't take you to the most interesting places. Here we are in the gents lavatory in that well-known Sports Bar adjacent to the aptly named Mustafawi. The management, in their wisdom, have installed a flat-screen TV, so that if you are caught short in the middle of a cup final, you needn't miss any of the action while performing at the porcelain. This is all well and good, but I would strongly advise avoiding the urinal on the right. It doesn't take too much imagination to work out what could happen if there's a surprise goal and the performer on your left has had a few too many beers.