28 October 2009

Three Girls to Boot

Girl singers are not all equal. And just as some have higher or sweeter voices than others, it's not uncommon to find that some are longer than others, measured from head to foot. Normally, the length of a girl singer is a minor consideration, but apparently not in Stufital's Le Club, where there appears to be a requirement for all three girls' voices to emanate from mouths at the same vertical height above sea level. Assuming the stage to be horizontal, which it more or less is, this iso-mouth criterion could be met in either of two ways: by shortening the longer girls, or by lengthening the shorter ones. Most available ways of shortening long girls are rather inhumane, even for Slaka.
All of which goes to explain why long-Girl-A is free to perform nightly in flat shoes, with mid-Girl-B in stylish four-inch heels, while short-Girl-C is made to teeter on platforms the likes of which haven't been seen since about 1970. She's still the star though, overcoming vertigo night after night to delight her vast crowd of seventeen admirers.

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